This weekend, I was asked the question "What's the biggest, most impactful thing you have learned since attending Southland?"
"Hmph.....er.....ummmmm....."
That's what I said. Clever, huh? And then I said "I'll get back to you".
This is my attempt to do just that.
We have attended
Southland Community Church for nearly 8 years... we began shortly after the birth of our son (although friends tease us that it's the source of arguments between Jeff and I because we never agree on the exact time we started - Just so you know - I'm right!!). Looking back, it's really difficult for me to seperate what I've learned
through Southland with how I've grown as a person through my various life experiences during our time
at Southland. What influences what? Do Southland messages affect the way I see my life experiences, or do my life experiences provide a filter through which I process Southland teaching? I think it's both. Anyway, moving along.
One of the biggest blessings that has come out of my time at Southland has been the deep friendships I have formed with some incredible women. We met in a cell, and though that cell has not met for several years, they are still the girls I can pour my heart out to. I trust them, and they have stood with me through personal challenges. I can say, without hesitation, that their influence in my life has made me a better mother, wife, and God-seeker. Jeff has told me as much. They have taught me what it means to love unconditionally, as I have experienced their love in my life. They have challenged me in my faith, inspired me through their vulnerability, and have enabled me to experience great freedom and joy in my life through the honesty we share. Early on in my parenting years, I prayed for a friend, and God answered my prayer in multiples! I don't mean to gush....well, yes, I think I do....they really are all such gifts! I love them dearly.
As I look back over the past few years, one of my biggest challenges has been watching our farm go from alive and active to, well, dead and inactive. It's been both humbling and difficult seeing Jeff rise to the challenge of switching careers in a heroic effort to provide for us. We have come through (and at times are still coming through) a season of great disappointment and dashed hopes. I think it's called a storm of life. That said, we can also see how our characters and paradigms have been shaped by our experience. I feel like my eyes have been opened up to all the pain and sorrow of those around me, and my heart aches for those who are facing challenges. I feel we have learned to trust God in new ways. Our priorities in life have come into sharper focus. Our marriage has experienced greater oneness. I have come to deeply respect and appreciate Jeff for the sacrifices he makes for our family. We have been forced to be a team in ways we never would have chosen (example: when I was "managing" the barns, I would phone Jeff on the cell, and he would tell me how to diagnose a fan/controller/feed system problem I was having. Or how to pull a pit. Or how to raise and lower frozen ramps in winter. Or what to do if the pressure washer isn't working and one and a half rooms needed to be washed that day. Or how to "fix" the lawn tractor. More than once, there were tears on my end of the phone, and patient instruction on his end - I'm sure with a few rolled eyes thrown in. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!). We have asked God a lot of questions, and, though I couldn't write a book on "everything I know for sure about life and God", we have come to experience God's presence and involvement in our life, and that has been very exciting and reassuring. All I can say is - it beats head knowledge.
So, what does all this have to do with what we've learned at Southland? I can't say, specifically, but, through the years, I have listened to countless testimonies of how God has worked in the lives of others. I feel I am in a place where I can add my small story to the stories of countless others who are experiencing God in personal ways. Just last weekend, when I sang in the mass choir, between the services (there were 5!!), I heard several stories of how God had met invididuals in real ways through concepts they've discovered while attending Southland. I value being part of a group of people who, as a whole, are growing in their passion and love for God.
I couldn't talk about what I have learned at Southland without addressing the teaching it offers, week after week. I am an incurable note-taker - I eat up information. And I feel like I get a lot of stuff to chew on each week. Many messages have spurred me towards personal study of the subject later on. I think about it, study it, and when I run into a snag in my thinking, I talk to others about it (I try to avoid third period in the finals, though). As a wise woman recently told me (and you know who you are!), "If a message causes us to think and delve deeper, it's done its job". As I go through my week, I think about what was said on the weekend, and I'd be amiss to say that it doesn't influence my thinking. Southland's influence and message could be likened to a soundtrack in my life. Sometimes the music is louder (ie. a message hits me between the eyes and I make immediate change in my life or it provides a different perspective on something that's going on in my personal life) and other times, it's quieter. Sometimes its convicting, sometimes reassuring. Sometimes it brings me to tears, sometimes it raises questions and even causes me to raise my eyebrows. But always, its pervasive presence reminds me, in all circumstances, to press deeper into God.
