I read a book recently. The book is called More or Less, subtitled Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity, written by Jeff Shinabarger. I had never heard of the book, or the author, but I had a huge, resounding "yes" in my heart to what I hoped would be inside its cover.
I was born into a first-world country. My reality is that I can turn on the tap at any time and water comes out. Clean, tested-in-a-lab-for-safety drinking water. Though I have looked into my closet a million times and muttered "I have nothing to wear", the reality is, in fact, I have lots to wear. If I need to do a grocery run, I have been known to say "there's nothing to eat in the house" when in reality, there are potentially dozens of meals in my freezer and pantry. And we own three vehicles, and there are two drivers in our home.
You see, there is this thing called "enough". It is when one has what one needs to live in a sustainable, healthy manner.
And then there is a thing called "suffering". It is what one has when one does not have enough to meet one's needs. It's where a startling percentage of the world lives. It is a percentage I all-too-often avoid because it leaves me feeling too helpless...guilty.
And then there is "excess". It is where I have lived all my life. On a scale of 1 to 10, with extreme suffering being a 1 and excess being a 10, I am a 12. Excess food, water, clothing, square footage, property, vehicles, medical care, education, social support systems....yup, I've got it all, right down to an electric clothes dryer.
It made me wonder. Would I be able to, in one area of my life, scale back my excess so that I would be teetering on "enough"....not suffering, but not excessive extras either. Or am I so entrenched in what I think I need that having just enough is not enough for me? How much is enough?
And so, this experiment.
I considered other experiments.....getting rid of clothing or wearing a small percentage of my wardrobe for a set period of time (but I've done this before and actually enjoy it too much!), denying myself a vehicle for a time (that one quickly was nixed because it inconvenienced others around me, and I didn't want to infringe on the freedoms of others - I wanted this experiment to challenge and confront me), other types of food fasts, but the one I chose stood out clearly as the one I wanted to do. Because I was not following someone else's plan, I could decide what my parameters would be, what would and would not be allowed. The details fell into place immediately after I decided that I would commit. Oatmeal (prepared without milk), dried beans, rice, carrots, broccoli, a maximum of one banana per day , and unflavoured black or green tea. All the foods were chosen because they are inexpensive and easily accessible. Oatmeal was chosen because it seemed to be similar to the corn mush porridge that I read about in my online research and because it's bland and utilitarian. Rice and beans were chosen because they are the iconic staple in many areas of the poor world. Carrots and broccoli were chosen because I wanted to include a vegetable, simple as that. I don't want to have scurvy on Valentine's Day, ok?? (I have not had broccoli yet. I may or may not remove it from my list of approved foods). Bananas seemed to be accessible in many parts of the world, so I chose that as a fruit. Plain tea was chosen because it seemed to be fairly common globally.
What do I hope to gain?
- I hope to gain a new awareness, appreciation and deep gratitude for all that I've been blessed with.
- I hope to gain a deeper empathy for the suffering my brothers and sisters across the world face each day.
- If my children would observe my experiment and gain any of the above for themselves, I would be insanely pleased.
- I hope to ditch some of the attachments I have to food. I think I may need to rely on Jesus in ways I haven't before. And that's gotta be a good thing, right?
- I pray that something inside me will be changed, causing me to live more open-handed - more generously, more lovingly - towards those in my sphere of influence. That I would recognize areas where my excess could alleviate someone's suffering..
- Love. That's really what it's all about for me. I want to "love my neighbour as myself". I want to know what that looks like. And I want to have the courage and wisdom to live that way.
PS. Yesterday, while Makenna and I were driving to Winnipeg, I was asking her if she thought I should be allowed to buy my food from a restaurant, or if I should only prepare my food myself. She thought I should be able to buy it from anywhere, but I hesitated. As it turned out, on day one of my challenge, I purchased a medium green tea from a Tim Horton's drive thru. I'm Canadian, eh?
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